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The second time, I was distracted before an exam and my head was elsewhere. The third, tiredness. By the fourth, fifth and sixth times, I had become exhausted, feeling myself getting aroused only to have the flicker of hope snuffed out as my erection subsided and the condom rolled off again. I was 23 years old and not being hard felt like a failure.

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I may be older now, and bolstered by the reassurance that my erectile dysfunction ED turned out to be a short-lived blip, but the problem is far from unusual for twentysomethings. For older men, the condition is typically related to atherosclerosis clogged arteriesdiabetes or high blood pressure.

But up to a quarter of new ED patients are now under 40, and a scroll through online health forums shows an increasing of young men are seeking therapy for erectile dysfunction. Urologists and therapists have their theories as to why erectile dysfunction is more prevalent today. Urologist Dr Joseph Alukal from New York University suggests this is due to the unrealistic expectations that porn represents.

For some men, like year-old Ali, it was an unhealthy lifestyle in his twenties that triggered erectile dysfunction. This went on for months — years even — on and off. I hardly ever wanked. Then I had a heart scare, gave up the partying and went back to normal. The UK has the highest rate of cocaine use among young adults in Europe and this, along with heavy drinking, can cause blood vessels to narrow, preventing enough blood from getting to the penis. According to Dr Justin Lehmiller, assistant professor of social psychology at Ball State University in Indiana, daily smokers are three times more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction compared to non-smokers.

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Junk food is another culprit, as it increases your blood pressure and cholesterol, which restricts circulation and hardens arteries not your penis. This was the case with Mark, 29, who suffered from ED for six months after being made redundant. When treating couples, Benfield focuses on the issues behind erectile dysfunction by asking patients to avoid penetrative sex for a few weeks and reconnecting through non-intimate touch, such as sharing a bath.

Here, Kate explains how they got their sex life back on track. He eventually had counselling to work through his emotional issues and treat the ED. Gradually, over a period of weeks, we focused on cuddling and massage, before moving towards penetrative sex when his erections began to reappear. We now have the coping skills — such as ad-hoc therapy and refocusing on non-penetrative sex — and crucially, we talk more openly than ever before, in and out of the bedroom.

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Credit: Rex. Umm, that wasn't supposed to happen So, what next? Related Content. Ever heard of pegging?

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