My Chandler is looking

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Final check by Kim. Everybody's sitting on the couch and Monica is eating a chunk of cake. Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time! Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!

Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food? Joey: Oh No, sex. Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread! Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window. Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you! Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it!

Look, he's getting into the car with her!

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Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. Phoebe calls Chandler. Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. I know that Monica is working today so I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel. Chandler: Oh, uhm I have to work too.

Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day. Phoebe: shocked Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or Phoebe: to Chandler at the phone Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.

Rachel: Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun. Chandler enters the door. Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that! Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic? Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps?

Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents! Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.

Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes?

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Well, something is not right. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you? Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck. Ross: yelling in pain I know nothing! Phoebe: All right. He is a good guy. Phoebe starts pinching him again. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster.

The guys enter the room. Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester. Monica: Oh my God! What did you think of the house?

Joey: walking towards her to hold her and support her Monica, you understand what we are saying, right? Monica: Yeah, sure Chandler enters. Monica: goes to Chandler Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and Monica: turns to them Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big. Chandler: Yeah motions them to sit and they do I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor. Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.

Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it! Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up?

You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door? Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! Ross: to Joey It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay back to Mon and Chanbut you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be. All the friends looked shocked and confused.

There is a long silence. Monica: smiling It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that le down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? Walks towards the fridge Because I can stop doing that, looks at the fridge I really, really think I can! Chandler: goes towards Joey You know that's not the reason Joe. Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth.

He goes back to where he was standing before. Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. Points to Rachel and Phoebe It is beautiful, isn't it? Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!

Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place? Rachel: talking on the phone C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe! And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know?

Or a- or a hat! Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles. Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles. Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles.

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I want to do this. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing. Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass! They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head. Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! She sees someone is stuck in the turkey. Who is that?

Monica: I got it!

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How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster? No one forced you to raise the stakes!

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Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us! Ross: Chandler!!! He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.

My Chandler is looking

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